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Monday, June 04 2012 03:25 pm

I’ll be seeing you: Letting-go and coming together, Susan Kaiser Greenland Featured

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Our youngest child graduated from high-school this past week and one of the commencement speakers was a Chumash elder who, as you might expect, did not offer the usual platitudes.  Emotions ran high for me during that ceremony and, to be fair, I don’t remember much about the speeches.  But something this Native American elder said has stayed with me and it went something like this: “When you find yourself struggling look inside and see what you can let go of.”  There are similarities between what his wisdom tradition teaches and the mindfulness tradition that I teach so it’s not surprising that his teaching about ‘letting-go’ resonates with me, but it may be surprising that it also feels somewhat incomplete. One of my favorite classical stories on letting go as a way to ease suffering is about a monkey that gets caught in a bamboo trap: A hunter set a monkey trap by putting a banana inside of a bamboo cage.  The bars on the cage were set apart at a distance just wide enough for a monkey to reach inside with a flat hand, but not wide enough to pull that hand out again holding the banana.  This trap was remarkably effective because the monkey wouldn’t drop the banana once he had gotten hold of it so he remained trapped even though freedom was as simple as releasing his grip.  Is the moral of this story to drop the banana? Sometimes.

 

Many things that cause suffering can simply be dropped.  But to me wisdom lies in knowing what you can drop and what you need to hold on to.  That’s the note I would give the Chumash elder about his otherwise wonderful graduation speech.  I would thank him for beautifully encouraging students to work with their problems by looking inside first, rather than outside. And when my own children dig deep inside one of the questions I hope they  will ask themselves is whether there’s a banana in there, somewhere, that they’re hanging onto for dear life that’s somehow trapping them unnecessarily.  But, there’s a second question I hope that they ask themselves too, the flip-side of the “What can I let go of to ease my suffering question” and that question is whether what’s causing me to suffer is a principle worth standing-up for, and sometimes that means suffering for too.

This morning I woke up to a number of thoughtful emails about the decision to take the Mindfulness Together online community offline.  The common thread was that it seemed like a sudden move and people wanted to check-in to make sure that everything is alright.  So, I wanted to quickly write a blog post to thank those who reached out and make clear that ‘letting-go’ of the online community is something I’ve considered for some time as part of my husband’s and my transition into our  lives as empty-nesters.  But please also know that I’m doing my own  digging deep as we go through this transition and I’m not only looking for things to let go of, I’m also keeping a close eye on what it is important that I hold on to, and if necessary stand-up for.

For me, when it comes to bringing mindfulness into the mainstream, one of the principles worth standing-up for is the promotion of an agenda based on collaboration whenever and wherever possible.  Just like the decision to take mindfulness together offline is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time, so too is this theme of collaboration.  I first wrote about the importance of collaboration on the Huffington Post in June of 2010 in a piece called The Branding of Wisdom.  Later that summer I wrote about the importance of collaboration in the movement to bring secular mindfulness into education in A Mindful Revolution in Education  and the theme of collaboration continues in my speaking and writing today.  Richard Brady’s Mindfulness in Education Yahoo group and Amy Saltzman’s Association for Mindfulness in Education Google group offered me an easy place to bring both of these teachings --  ‘letting go’ and ‘standing up for what you believe in’ -- together.

I’ll see you in those places.

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15 comments

  • Comment Link Susan Kaiser Greenland Wednesday, June 20 2012 08:24 pm posted by Susan Kaiser Greenland

    Hi everyone, A quick note to let people know that I wrote Oli at the address he or she used to register his or her comment and my email was returned with an automated response that the address doesn't exist. But for what it's worth here is the email I tried to send to the person who posted the previous comment and it applies to anyone who feels there is information in the online community that they've lost and can't replace. "Dear Oli, There was quite a bit more behind the scenes that led to the decision to close down the online community. That said, I'm sorry if there is information in the community that you needed or that would be helpful to you. If there is something specific that you are looking for, that we're able to accommodate, please let me know and I'll see if we can provide it to you. With apologies for any upset we've caused you and let me know if there's something you need that we can try to help you with. All best, Susan Kaiser Greenland"

  • Comment Link Oli Wednesday, June 20 2012 06:20 am posted by Oli

    Killing a community without a warning in advance has nothing to do with wisdom. It's just disrespectful. It's like putting your kids in a car one day and tell them "By the way, we are moving to another city and never come back. I thought about this for a long time and decided to let go this morning. It's really the right decision for me." What would your kids tell you?

  • Comment Link Leslie Anne Ross Tuesday, June 12 2012 01:17 am posted by Leslie Anne Ross

    Susan, I thank you for all of your encouragement and support when we were first beginning to implement mindfulness in our domestic violence treatment program for kids at Good Shepherd Shelter. We are still doing that work there and have expanded even further ai CII. Thank you for your leadership and inspiration. We will miss this connection.
    Leslie

  • Comment Link Deb Tuesday, June 05 2012 08:16 pm posted by Deb

    Susan - your gift of bringing knowledge, understanding, concepts and most of all - people to together is a very special one.
    I know that you will continue to shine your light very brilliantly in many different communities and outlets...
    Thankfully you send out amazing Tweets!
    So just know I will be looking for you on Twitter each day...you continue to enrich all of us! All I can say is Thank you!

  • Comment Link Gill Tuesday, June 05 2012 08:54 am posted by Gill

    ..and you still continue to teach by example! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with all of us right up to the end: "letting go" with such grace is a lesson for us all. With all best wishes for you Susan. Keep well.

  • Comment Link Kim-Nicola Lorentzen Monday, June 04 2012 08:12 pm posted by Kim-Nicola Lorentzen

    Thanks, Susan, for having had the community. I got very precious references through it in the last 2 years - and I got the hints to get started with doing mindfulness with children. Thanks so much from Europe, and wishing you well, Kim

  • Comment Link Rubens Turkienicz Monday, June 04 2012 07:48 pm posted by Rubens Turkienicz

    Thanks again Susan!
    Only the best,
    Rubens

  • Comment Link Sumi Loundon Monday, June 04 2012 06:21 pm posted by Sumi Loundon

    Hey Susan,

    I've learned a lot from your newsletters. Just this weekend had the teacher of my 3-5 year old class in Bodhi School do the stuffed animal meditation with her students. I've also picked up links, references, book titles, songs, etc. through your newsletter. Is there a way that we/I/you will be able to continue to stay in touch about resources? Will Richard and Amy's newsletters pick up these useful links and resources via you?

  • Comment Link Lone Svinth Monday, June 04 2012 06:17 pm posted by Lone Svinth

    Dear Susan
    Thank you for being such a wonderful inspiration I have enjoyed your community from the very beginning, there is nothing quite like it around. Warm regards Lone Svinth

  • Comment Link Rebecca Peterson Monday, June 04 2012 06:01 pm posted by Rebecca Peterson

    Dear Susan, Thank you for all your wonderful work and for this site. It seems like yesterday that we worked on the Spanish translation for the forms for parents at the schools. Wishing you all the best from Rebecca :)

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