meditation for busy parents
Are you familiar with the law of reverse effect or the Backwards Law? Sometimes, the harder we try the less likely we are to succeed. For those built with a strong work ethic, the Backwards Law can be hard to get our minds around. What are we supposed to do? Give up? No. Giving up isn't what the Backwards Law is about, it's about relating differently to our goals and aspirations.
It's not possible for parents to know the answer to every question, yet sometimes we act like we do anyway. We resist saying “I don’t know” because we think they’ll feel safer if they believe we know the answer. Often, the opposite is true and kids whose parents are comfortable saying “I don’t know, at least not yet, let’s figure this out together” have more agency and control. And so do their parents.
Life has a way of throwing curve balls and it’s up to us how we respond. Hoping to control the outcome, we often clamp down and think about what happened from every angle. Over and over and over again. But what would happen if we loosened our grip instead of clamping down?
When our minds change - when we feel more relaxed, less stressed, and less reactive - our bodies change too. And when our minds and bodies change our behavior changes, which shifts outcomes, which in turn affects what happens in the world.